Your messages melt my heart. And they always come when I most need them. I'm a strong, independent woman, on a path that many struggle to understand. But even people like me have doubts that run across the recesses of our brains, like shadows. They just take more subtle forms for people like me because they know if they show themselves in the light, I won't give them the space in my mind. So they lurk, they shapeshift. And sometimes I find myself in a coffee shop watching the world go by, wondering...what am I doing? Why did I say no to the cushy job in Boston with high pay and great benefits? Why am I STILL passing on offers, despite the fact that I struggle to make ends meet? What is this life I'm living, will all these sacrifices, risks etc pay off?
But when I get your messages I am reminded - it is already "paying off." I love to inspire. I love to encourage. I'm the person who will be in your ear telling you to go for it, to do it, you only live once, and YOU are the only one who is allowed to decide what is right for you. I'll also be the person who holds you accountable - reminds you that dreams take work. And that they evolve and change as we lay their foundations, as we build them.
Thank you, sincerely, for your vulnerability - for letting me into your lives, for sharing your stories with me, what drives you, what scares you, what you want from your life. And I encourage you, if you've taken the step of reaching out to me, read your message out loud. Keep writing, keep talking to yourself, keep processing the part of your heart you've opened up.
You tell me I'm brave, that you wish you had my courage, my ability not to care what others think, my calm in the midst of constant instability. But you have that courage inside you as well, you just need to find the thing that means enough to you to put it into action. I'm not fearless. I'm not invincible. But I AM willing to risk falling. I AM willing to put one foot in front of the other, to take baby steps, to believe in myself, and believe that I deserve to be happy. And that in the process, I will only bring light to the world around me, and make the most AMAZING connections. The woman I am didn't spring up overnight - but the process accelerated exponentially when I decided that I'm worth it, I show myself grace for my shortcomings, I keep my chin up and I try SO hard to love the world around me. If I were to die tomorrow, at least I know I lived.
And make no mistake - your dreams may be vastly different than mine, thats not the point. Nobody else gets to decide how "big" your dreams need to be. If your perfect life is staying at home with the kids in the town you grew up in, with your high school sweetheart by your side for the rest of your life, THAT is what you should work at with all your heart. If your dream is to build the BEST model railway that ever existed, THAT is what you should work for. If your dream is to better your home town, THAT is what you should work for. Write the book, open the business, ask that person out, DO IT. And don't be so hard on yourself if it takes longer than you think it should.
Well, that was a long rambling post. I love you guys, and I love that I can live this life so openly with such a wonderful, global community behind me. I pledge to continue to be vulnerable, to be real, to be honest. Life has a way of keeping us down sometimes, and make us feel overwhelmed and trapped. And my goodness the internet can be a brutal place. But I hope that my little corner will keep some light and peace and inspiration coming your way. Keep your messages coming, and don't forget - You CAN do it.
Thanks for reading!